Aftermath
by Eventhorizon7
Summary: Sam wakes up in Daniel's bed after an unforseen night of passion. How will they cope with the aftermath of thier actions. Please note that this is a Sam/Daniel pairing, so please feel free to skip this story if that is not to your taste.
1. Chapter 1

Author: Eventhorizon 7

Rating: M (Mature Themes)

Categories: Angst/Romance/Drama

Content Warning: Mild Profanity/ Adult Themes/ Sexual Situations

Spoilers: Seasons 1 to 10 to be on safe side

Summary: Sam wakes up in Daniel's bed after a night of passion. How will they cope with the aftermath of their actions.

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters they belong to Stargate SG-1 and MGM studios etc. I am making no money from them and sadly never will. If I did own them, believe me Sam and Daniel would have had much more fun with each other.

Author's Note:

**This is a Sam/Daniel story with strong adult themes and eventual romance**. Anyone who does not like this pairing should not read. Please don't flame me as you have been warned in advance of the pairing. Those who do read it please leave a review as I like to know what you think. This is a work in progress and I will try to get subsequent chapters out as soon as real life allows.

**Aftermath**

**Chapter 1.**

I have always loved that moment between sleep and full awakening. That moment when your mind is in both the subconscious and conscious moment, where dreams feel like realities and the harshness of the real world hasn't yet had the time to re-establish itself.

It is a time when your body is at its most relaxed, when as a human being we are at our most vulnerable.

It's best enjoyed without the forced interruption of an ear-splitting alarm clock.

Today is such a day.

Only the soft twittering of the dawn chorus breaks up the stillness of the room. A shaft of early morning sunlight bathes my face with its welcomed warmth and its promise of another fine spring morning.

My body still feels a little leaden and I haven't yet opened my eyes; for to do so would break the moment that I cherish so much. Instead I succumb to the sunlight's warmth and turn my face further into it, letting its glow penetrate my still sleep fogged mind.

I feel the soft cotton of the bed sheets slide against my skin as I slowly stretch my limbs and that is when the first confused thought enters my mind.

I'm naked!

Okay, maybe that needs a little clarifying. Most nights I choose to sleep in vest and shorts, reserving the right to sleep in the buff for the long, stiflingly hot, Colorado summers or when I'm involved with someone.

It's not summer.

And… at the moment…I'm not involved with anyone.

That realisation forces me to crank open one eye and survey the room that I am in. The sunlight hasn't penetrated too far into the surface of the room, most is still enveloped in shadows and darkness, but what I can see sends the second confused thought hurtling through my mind and cranks up my adrenaline level.

This isn't my bedroom!

All thoughts of a slow transition from sleep to wakefulness evaporate at that thought and I try not to allow the panic that suddenly replaces it to cloud my mind.

Where the hell am I?

My eyes now fully awake, I try to focus on my surroundings, squashing down the uncomfortable thoughts that are running through my head. The room is stylishly furnished, although not to my taste, and many of the items seem to be ethnic in origin. A tall bookcase, crammed to overflowing, stands against a wall next to the open curtained window. Small wooden boxes are on a table next to it, their contents obscured by the diffused lighting. These boxes seem familiar to me; I've seen them before, just not in this context. In fact the whole room has a known feel to it, but I just can't place it.

My eyes shift further around the room, taking in the wall tapestries, their surfaces a riot of colour. There are some mounted photographs, but the lighting is too dark for me to see them clearly so that is of no help to me. Without turning over, something I'm not too sure of doing right now, I've seen about all I can see of the room.

Finally my eyes fall upon the maple nightstand next to me and focus upon the silver framed photograph that sits there. A beautiful dark haired woman stares back at me, her brown eyes soft, her olive skin as exotic as the woman the photograph depicts.

I know her.

It's Sha're.

My eyes widen at this revelation and a soft gasp escapes my lips with the realisation.

This is Daniel's bedroom.

I am lying naked in Daniel's bed.

Confusion now gives way to understanding and with understanding comes something else.

Memory.

_Of a kiss, at first chaste but then igniting into a conflagration of passion and desire. Of our lips moving hungrily against one another's, searching, teeth softly nipping, tongues gently soothing._

_Of his hands tentatively roaming my clothed body, pulling me against him, kissing me harder and longer. Feeling the sweep of his tongue against my lips, parting them, before delving into my mouth to plunder at his leisure._

_The sound of my drawn out moan as his fingers teasingly brush against my breast. An arch of my body as I push against him, wanting more, needing more of him. The feel of his hardness straining against the fabric of the jeans that he wears as my own searching fingers stroke and press against it._

_The coolness of the air as it hits my naked skin, causing my flesh to break out in goose bumps and my nipples to stand firm and erect. The warmth of his tongue as he sweeps it across those same nipples, coaxing them with his lips and sending pulses of pleasure cascading down my body to pool wetly at my core._

_The feel of the cotton sheets as he gently pushes me against them. The heat of his own naked skin sliding against mine, the added friction causing me to cry out his name in a hoarse whisper._

_The sensation of his mouth travelling across my body, mapping his journey with his lips until they find my centre. The texture of his tongue as it moves against that most sensitive of areas, languidly tasting my essence._

_The sound of my rapidly beating heart as it pulses loudly in my ears, its cadence matching that of my now fully aroused body._

_My soft moans and entreaties as his fingers enter me, touching me with the sureness of a practiced lover, his movements notching up my arousal higher and higher until my pelvis is thrusting hard against his hand, wanting completion, wanting to feel him deep inside me._

_The need in my voice as I whisper his name over and over. The feel of his tensed body as I run my hands across his sweat slicked skin. The gasp I hear break from his lips as my fingers wrap softly around his hardened flesh, guiding it toward where I want it most to be._

_The look in his eyes as they meet mine, soft and smoky, hungry with need. Pupils dilated so far in his aroused state that only a small disc of cerulean blue outline their blackness._

_Another long drawn out kiss, tender and seductive, full of promises taken and given._

_The stifled gasp of pain as he enters me, his body finally merging with mine, stretching my underused muscles, the burning sensation slowly turning into pleasure pain as I feel him fill me to the core._

_The clumsiness of our first uncertain thrusts, our bodies slowly learning, responding to each other's rhythm._

_The softness of his kisses as he peppers my eyes and nose, the feel of his tongue as he slides it hungrily into my mouth. The keening sound of my own, now inarticulate moans, as his body drives mine deeper toward the inescapable goal of climax._

_That feeling of getting higher and higher, of the coil inside you being wound tighter and tighter until you know that one more touch will cause you to explode and wanting that touch so much, so badly, that you would do anything…anything to feel it._

_The lazy drift of his fingers as they slide tantalizingly down my body, across my hip and down my thigh, only to teasingly slide up again and slip across my abdomen, slipping further until they are parting the curls at my most intimate of places. The feel of his hand against me, touching me in time with his heated thrusts, before he pushes down hard with the pads of two long fingers._

_The cry of his name reverberating in my ears as the detonation explodes deep within my core, sending waves of indescribable pleasure pulsing through my body, causing my nerve endings to sizzle in sensual delight. As one sensation dissipates another slams into me followed by another and I can't help crying out my gratification._

_The excitement of hearing my name hoarsely cried out at the moment of his release. My name. A sound so longed for that it brings tears to my eyes to finally hear it upon his lips._

_The unexpected feeling of security and protection that I feel as he rolls us over, until he is on his back, his arms encircling my waist, pulling me against him. The soft weight of the comforter pulled up and over my back, pushing me further into his warmth._

_The soft languid kiss that he places on my now swollen lips, and the gentle smile that follows it. A smile that says more than a thousand words could. The way that his eyes flutter closed as he tries to fight the exhaustion that sweeps over him. The way he pulls me even tighter against his body as he ultimately gives into the tiredness, as though to let go of me would break this moment forever._

_The sounds of our racing hearts slowly coming back under control as our bodies come down from the high of our lovemaking. The way it feels to nestle against his chest, listening to those heartbeats, feeling totally safe and sated, letting sleep slowly pull me down into its comforting embrace._

Oh My God!

I made love to Daniel!

My body obviously tenses and in reaction to it, almost as if he has been waiting for my moment of comprehension, I feel Daniel's hand slide across my hip, encompassing my waist and pulling me gently, but firmly, back against his naked body.

"Sam, are you okay?"

His voice is not roughened by sleep and that means that he has been awake for some time. Probably waiting for me to wake up and work out what has happened.

He places a soft, open mouthed kiss against my bare shoulder and his fingers brush gently over and around my abdomen. "Talk to me."

What have we done?

"Sam?"

So many thoughts.

So many emotions.

They are running headlong throughout my mind. I feel like a computer that is about to crash. I can't handle all this information at once. I can't handle all the feelings that are bubbling up inside of me. I'm being pulled under by the riptide of realisation.

This isn't a dream. This is not something I'm going to be waking up from any time soon. This is real. This is happening now.

Oh God!

This is the morning after!

The morning after Daniel!

This is way more awkward than normal, considering who it is that I am waking up with and the unexpected nature of our…coming together.

Oh get a grip girl!

Tell it how it is. You had mind blowing sex with Daniel!

With my best friend!

I did the nasty with my best friend!

What the hell was I thinking?

"Sam?" He is gently tugging at my waist, wanting me to roll over and face him. He doesn't know that at this precise moment in time that is the last thing I want to be doing. A really irrational part of me is hoping, almost praying, that a giant fissure would open and suck us into it. That a rare but not unheard of earthquake would suddenly hit this exact spot of Colorado Springs.

Right now I'd even settle for the phone ringing to tell us that the combined forces of the Goa'uld, Replicators and Ori are launching a simultaneous attack on us.

Anything to get me out of this situation.

"Sam, will you please look at me." A note of anxiety threads its way through Daniel's voice. I can hear the first vestiges of guilt creeping into its tone. "I can't bear this silence. Say something…please?"

"I don't know what to say." I answer honestly in a whisper so low that I wonder if he could have possibly heard me.

The silence in the room is only broken by the soft ticking of a wall clock and the melodious twittering of the early morning birdsong.

"Say you don't hate me." The self recrimination in Daniel's voice is evident. Its intensity shocks me.

I turn, all earlier thoughts of avoiding this moment banished from my mind. However the coward in me is still not ready to actually look him in the eye. Instead I keep my head bowed, the tiny decorative patterns that make up the bedcovers becoming absorbing.

"How could I possibly hate you?" I ask tentatively.

Two fingers slip under my chin and gently tease it upward. I try to stop myself, but eventually Daniel wins out and I feel my chin lifting up. My eyes follow suit, rising reluctantly to meet with his.

His eyes captivate me. Their blueness deeper than I have ever seen before. It's like looking into the deepest ocean and being dragged under by the current. I've often wondered why he hides behind those glasses? Why he doesn't invest in contact lenses, because those eyes are just incredible. Nevertheless, as I look deeply into that blue ocean I can see a maelstrom of emotion and waves of doubt skirting beneath their surface.

"I dragged us over that line." He states earnestly. "I was the one that forced you to make a choice."

I shake my head at his words. No Daniel, it wasn't you. I'm the one that has ruined everything. I'm the one that has destroyed the best platonic relationship I've ever had because of what? Because finally I couldn't stop myself from succumbing to the pull? Because in a moment of sheer madness I let my guard down and did the one thing I had vowed I would never do!

Not under any circumstance.

I gave into my attraction. I gave into feelings that I thought I had safely locked away, feelings so dangerous that they pose a genuine threat to our friendship.

I gave in to the lure of wanting to know what it would be like to be with him…in that way!

Jesus! I can't even be honest with myself, let alone him.

Just say it Sam.

I wanted to know what it would feel like to make love to him.

Now I know. I've tasted that forbidden fruit and like Eve I'm about to pay a terrible price for my sin.

"I'm so sorry, Daniel." I hold his eyes with my own, willing him to listen to what I'm about to say. "I shouldn't have let this happen. I should have stopped this. I could have stopped this…last night… before it got so out of hand."

My mind goes back to the previous night, to the kiss that had started out so innocently. I had been on the point of leaving his apartment after an evening of movies and popcorn. Once it had been normal practice between us, a way of unwinding after a mission, a few hours heckling science fiction movies and just spending time together off the clock. It had been shelved after Janet's death, but a particularly difficult mission had resurrected it and it had been good to just be together.

As friends.

At the door he had stopped me, turning me around to face him.

Hesitantly, he had bent his head down toward me, his eyes watching my face intently. His lips met mine, delivering a tender and gentle kiss. It had been soft with hardly any pressure at all, as though a butterfly had fluttered against my mouth. Its intent had been nothing more than an extended 'thank you.'

Yet in that instant everything in our world altered, coalescing into something new and indefinable. As he pulled away from me I could see it transforming in the unfathomable blueness of his eyes and I knew instinctively that what I was seeing in his gaze was a reflection of what he was seeing in mine.

He lowered his head again, stopping millimetres away from my lips and I could feel the warmth of his breath against my face. He had given me the time to make an excuse, to break the moment, but I steadfastly stood my ground, not wanting for a second to walk away. In fact it was I who crossed the small distance between us, brushing my lips softly against his.

The contact this time had been electric.

A dry tinderbox of emotion ignited into a conflagration of pent up passion and desire.

And the rest as they say…

"God. I've ruined everything." I sit up and scoot away from him, the bedcovers falling to my waist, exposing my chest to the cool early morning air. I instantly feel my nipples harden. "I've got to get out of here."

I slide my legs over the side of the bed, my hand desperately searching for any semblance of clothing with which to cover myself. I'm feeling more exposed than I ever have and I need to put some distance between us.

I need to think. I need to find a way to make this all right again.

My search for my clothes has proven fruitless and I can't even remember where they were shed. I'm going to have to get out and look for them. I move to stand up, but Daniel's hand grabs my arm pulling me back toward him.

"Don't go." His holding me in place, both hands gently gripping my shoulders, stopping me from moving away. "Please don't run, Sam."

"I'm not running." I close my eyes on a soft sigh. The lie slips from my mouth so easily. Of course I'm running, who the hell am I kidding. I'm running from this about as surely as I'd double time it away from a battalion of angry Jaffa. "I just… I just need some time to think. To get all this sorted out in my head."

"To put the barriers back up you mean." When I open my eyes I find Daniel staring at me closely, a small furrow creasing his brow. "We both know that if you leave." His head jerks toward the doorway. "If you walk out that door, things will never be the same again."

"Daniel…" I begin, but he cuts me off before I can continue.

"We need to talk about this." One hand smoothes down my arm, softly caressing the skin. "We need to understand what happened and why it happened?"

"I don't think that's a good idea." I drop my face into my hands, my fingers crawling through my sleep tousled hair.

"Why?"

Does he really want me to answer that? The silence stretches out longer than I hoped for, so I guess the answer is that he does. I pull my head up out of my hands and look at him.

"Because no amount of analysing. No amount of soul searching and truth seeking is going to change what we both know."

"And that is?" His eyes have narrowed and the frown has returned.

Okay, so he really wants me to say it. He really wants me to dredge up the words that I have been thinking since we woke up naked in bed this morning.

"What happened last night was a mistake. It should never have happened and…" I take a deep breath strengthening my resolve. "…and it can never happen again."

The look of hurt and disappointment on Daniel's face is going to haunt me forever.


	2. Chapter 2

**Aftermath**

**Chapter 2**

"_We both know that if you leave." Daniel's head jerks toward the doorway. "If you walk out that door, things will never be the same again."_

As I walk through the front door of my house I wonder if he knew just how prophetic his words could be? Things are not the same and I doubt now that they ever will be.

I absently throw my keys into the bowl on the telephone stand by the door and pick up my mail. Sifting through it I find nothing but the ubiquitous bills and flyers. No letter from my brother that I could use as an excuse to take a break from the circular thoughts and emotions that have been running through my head for the better part of a week now.

I still can't believe that it happened.

That I actually slept with Daniel.

Why do we call it sleeping with someone? Sleeping is about the last thing that you do. If I had just slept with Daniel there wouldn't be a problem. I've slept with him on countless off-world missions. Sleeping with him is the easy part.

It's trying to forget how hot the sex was that is proving to be the hard part.

It's trying to banish the memories of how good it felt to be held by him. To be kissed by him, to have his hands and lips do things to my body that I have only ever admitted to in dreams…in fantasies. It's knowing what it feels like to have our bodies join as one, to have him nestled deep within as I snugly fit around him.

I fear that my actions that night have opened a Pandora's box. All the dreams that I held dear to me have escaped the tight perimeter that I have kept them imprisoned in. Like doves in a cage they have been released into the sky, experiencing their first taste of freedom and they are reluctant to return. I dread that the lid will never be put back on the box again, no matter how hard I try.

It had taken all my argumentative skills to convince Daniel that what had happened between us was a mistake. That we had let our over taxed emotions lead us down a path that neither one of us really wanted to travel. That our desires that night had been fed by nothing more than the mere fact that neither one of us has a personal life.

We had been shattered by a mission that had gone so horribly wrong. The death and destruction of an entire village feeding into our sense of guilt and despair. It had been natural to find something life affirming, something that could be used as a means to rebalance our battered psyches.

I had almost believed the lie myself.

Deep down I knew that I couldn't tell him the truth, for that would inevitably lead to questions that I wasn't willing to face. Questions that would open up a whole new can of worms and threaten the stability of our long established friendship.

His friendship means everything to me, it always has done and it always will.

I can't let what happened between us destroy that.

I won't.

God! That is so much easier to say than do. Why can I mean it in my head but not in my heart? Why am I finding it so difficult to adjust to what happened and find a way to move on?

Wearily I make my way down the hallway, shedding my jacket on route and head for the bathroom. I need to relax, to let go of some of the tension that has me coiled like an over wound spring.

I need a hot bath and a glass of wine.

Ten minutes later I am finally relaxing in a tub full of wonderfully scented bubbles, lighted candles adorning the work surfaces of the bathroom and a bottle of Merlot sitting uncorked and breathing in the alcove by the bath.

I pour a glass of the rich red liquid and take a long mouthful, feeling the wine infuse my mouth, my taste buds slowly coming alive with the exotic flavour. I feel the burn as I swallow the alcohol, mentally following its course as it makes its way down my throat until it nestles warmly in my belly.

That feels much better.

I let my mind drift as I continue to enjoy the wine and sink lower into the water, the bubbles coming up to my chin. Gradually I can feel the tension that has built up over this last week leave my tense muscles. I can feel the tendons and sinews uncoiling, stretching and it feels as though a heavy weight has been lifted from both my mind and body.

As my thoughts free fall, they inevitably return to the night that I spent in Daniel's bed. This time I willingly let them, no longer disposed to fight the memories.

My eyes flutter shut as I recall the sweet sensation of having Daniel's fingers caress my skin. The way they tenderly explored my body, eagerly seeking out areas that enflamed and aroused me. The feather light touch against my breast, the soft sweep of his thumb and forefinger as it played across my nipple causing it to go from relaxed to taut in the space of a few seconds.

Subconsciously my free hand begins to wander across my body, duplicating the movements that I can see so clearly in my mind's eye. My fingers trail across my breast, slipping across the nipple, sending a pulse of excitement to my groin. I straighten in the bath, my shoulders and chest rising above the blanket of bubbles and the coolness of the air against my skin causes my nipples to tighten.

I gasp.

In my mind I feel Daniel's fingers moving lower, quickly followed by his mouth and tongue. I feel them flutter against the skin behind my knee, skimming across my inner thigh, grazing against the hypersensitive muscles of my abdomen as they twitch and clench with every subtle movement of his mouth.

My fingers follow the course laid out in my mind and the relaxed lethargy, achieved by the combination of warm water and alcohol, is slowly being replaced by the insistent thrum of arousal.

It has become so easy to allow my memories of that night to supplant those that once dwelt within my fantasies. My mind and body both now know exactly how it feels to be made love to by Daniel, his seductive techniques becoming indelibly imprinted upon my senses.

Using this knowledge as a guide, my hand moves further down my body, seeking out other areas that were awakened by Daniel's touch. My fingers encounter an over sensitized erogenous zone and a tight moan escapes my lips, followed by the whispered gasp of his name.

The sound of a glass shattering unexpectedly registers upon my brain, pulling me abruptly from my erotic musings.

My eyes snap open and I am once more aware of my surroundings. The bath water is tepid, the blanket of bubbles reduced to a couple of resistant peaks. I peer over the side of the bathtub and see the smashed wine glass upon the floor, its contents spreading darkly across the ceramic tiles.

Damn.

What the hell has gotten into me?

I spy a towel to my right and snag it with my fingers, draping it upon the tiles away from the broken glass. Gingerly I rise from the bath, pulling the plug on route, and step onto the towel. Quickly I dry myself off, and wrap my body in a bathrobe. I grab the bottle of wine and head toward the kitchen, stowing the wine on the counter before grabbing a role of kitchen towels and heading back to the bathroom to clear up my mess.

I have just cleared up the last shards of glass and mopped the final vestiges of wine from the ceramics when I hear the sound of my doorbell. Cursing to myself, I stuff the sodden kitchen towels into the waste basket and head toward the door.

I take a cursory look through the security peephole to see who my late night visitor could be.

Oh Shit! It's Daniel!

Heat suddenly enflames my cheeks at the thought of what I had been doing moments earlier.

Oh God!

There is no way that I can open that door. He'll take one look at me and I'll be well and truly busted.

Maybe if I pretend I can't hear him, he will give up and go away. Maybe he will think that I have gone to bed and succumbed to the exhaustion that I know I have been telegraphing all week.

"Sam!"

Damn. Damn. Damn.

The doorbell chimes again, it's tinny melodic sound reverberating in my hallway. I cross back on tiptoes and peer again through the peephole, somewhat ashamed of my cowardice. Daniel has stepped back from the door, his eyes frowning in the soft glow of my porch light. He takes a step to his right and gingerly steps over my shrubs and I know that he is heading toward the window. I can almost feel him peering inside, into my living room.

I pull back from the door, my teeth worrying at my bottom lip.

Come on Daniel just go.

Instead of the longed for sound of his jeep starting up, the doorbell erupts in a flurry of activity, the cacophony almost deafening.

"Sam! Are you in there?" The sound of a fist pounding on the wooden doorframe accompanies his voice. "Hey Sam!"

It's now very obvious that he isn't going away. If I play possum for much longer he is going to start trying to shoulder his way into my house. I don't want to have to pay for a new front door. More importantly I don't want to spend the rest of the night at the base hospital while they pop Daniel's shoulder back in.

I run a resigned hand through my damp hair and sigh.

"Just a minute." I look at my reflection in the hallway mirror. Much of my earlier blush has abated, replaced instead with a subtle flush to my cheeks. I try to school my features, making them as neutral as possible. I pull my bathrobe tighter against me and tie it firmly into place. Finally, with no more stalling tactics at my disposal I yank off the security chain, flick the deadbolt and open the door.

The cool night breeze ruffles Daniel's hair and he blinks at me as I stand in the doorway.

His blue eyes sweep across my robed body and I can't help wondering if he is remembering what lies beneath. His overlong scrutiny makes me feel uncomfortable and I start to fidget. Finally, done with their travels, his eyes snap back up to meet mine. "Was I interrupting something?"

If only you knew.

"I was taking a bath, Daniel." I widen the door, allowing him entrance to my home and he steps inside. "Why are you here?"

He surveys my hallway, pausing to view the photographs of my family that adorn the wall. He pauses in front of one in particular, his eyes scanning the scene, a small smile playing across his lips.

"Daniel?"

He turns, his eyebrows rising slightly at the irritated intonation of my voice.

"Why are you here?"

"We need to talk." He moves away from me, glancing one more time at the picture on the wall as he heads into my living room. He points a finger at it. "You know…that it is a really cute picture, Sam. I never envisioned you with pigtails."

The tension that has been plaguing me all week has started to take up residence again. I wrap a palm around the back of my neck and massage the tightening muscles. "Look it's late and I'm tired. Can't we do this another day?"

"No!" The earlier jovial timbre of his voice has been replaced by a much harder tone. It equates to what I am now seeing in his eyes. Two shadowy orbs stare into mine, his pupils dark, his eyes narrowed."This conversation is already long overdue."

Oh boy!

Welcome to pissed off Daniel.

Clearly his jocular remarks about the picture in my hallway were only masking the hurt and anger that have been simmering away for days. If I am to avoid the ensuing eruption and subsequent fallout I will need to derail him.

"Daniel, it's been a really long week." I rake a hand through my still damp hair, errant strands sticking to my fingers. "I'm not in the mood for this, not tonight."

"Then get in the mood for it, Sam, because we're doing this." There is a brusqueness in his voice that brokers no argument.

"Why?" I glare at him, hoping that he can read the displeasure in my eyes. I really don't want a confrontation with him. We are sitting on a powder keg and with our emotions raw and exposed we run the risk of igniting it."Why are you so insistent about this? Why tonight?"

"Because you lied to me."

The accusatory tone of his voice stuns me, metaphorically throwing a bucket of cold water over my own steadily increasing ire. I can almost hear the doused embers sizzling.

"What?! When?"

"Back in my apartment you promised that things would go back to the way they were before. They haven't. If anything they are a million times worse." There is an underlying tension in his body, a tautness that I hadn't picked up earlier. It is now resonating off of him in tangible waves.

"Daniel.."

"Don't deny it, Sam!"

I flinch inwardly at his words, their unexpected loudness echoing around the quiet room.

"Don't even try and deny that you have been avoiding me all week." An unsteady hand clenches at his side as he tries to rein in his temper. "You've gone out of your way to ignore me, and I could possibly count the number of words you have spoken to me on the fingers of one hand." He shakes his head sadly, "And you made it perfectly clear in the briefing room today that you can barely stand to be in my presence. If it wasn't for the fact that Landry needed your input, I doubt that you would even have turned up for the meeting."

"Daniel, that's not true." I try to sound defensive, but in all honesty I am having a difficult time buying into it myself. The truth is I have avoided him all week, going out of my way to be anywhere other than where he would be. I even got myself reassigned to a different project because the one I had been given would have meant working with Daniel, and I couldn't face the prospect of being in such close proximity to him.

Ever since we made love I haven't been able to get the images out of my head, moreover there is a part of me, a part I am really struggling against right now, that wants it to happen again. I wasn't avoiding him because we slept together. I was avoiding him because I couldn't trust myself not to do something stupid again.

Daniel stalks across the living room, shrugging out of his dark leather jacket in the process and tossing it onto the couch. He slowly exhales a breath, letting it take the edge off of his emotions. He sits down, pushing the discarded jacket to one side, crossing one long leg over the other.

"Is this what we have to look forward to? Avoiding each other? Sniping at each other?"

Oh God I hope not.

"Have the lines of communication disintegrated so much that we can't even talk to each other?"

I close my eyes against the overwhelming desolation that seems to radiate from Daniel's words. His pain and sorrow act to amplify the unhappiness and regret that I have been harbouring all week. It slices through me like a knife, its sharpened tip stabbing into my heart with brutal clarity.

How could things have gotten this bad so quickly?

"You know as well as I do that this isn't going away until we've talked about it." His words are softer now, more measured. "Whether we like it or not what happened that night has changed us…forever." His blue eyes take on a softer hue, the sharpness of earlier receding. "We can't go back to the way we were before, I think you know that, but we can move forward. In order to do that we both need to fully understand why it happened in the first place."

"I told you why it happened!" Tiredness and irritation has leached away my patience spilling over into my words. If I'm truly honest with myself there is a huge dose of fear lurking there too. I'm frightened of having this conversation. Of opening up to him, of letting him see what I have been hiding for so long.

"No!" Daniel shakes his head empathically, pointing a critical finger in my direction. "You threw up a smokescreen, Sam. You stood in my apartment that morning and weaved a web of misinformation. It was pretty damn good too, and for a few days I believed it." He sits forward, his hands softly gripping his knees. His dark blue eyes focused intently upon mine. "Now I want the truth."


	3. Chapter 3

**Aftermath**

**Chapter 3**

Daniel wants the truth.

Why doesn't that surprise me?

That one tiny word has always been the thing that defines him, that explains more accurately than any other, the man that sits before me. In all the time that I have known him, he has worn his inherent sense of honesty as though it were a shield, protecting him from all the evils of the world.

The truth will set you free.

It can also screw things up beyond all recognition, given half the chance.

"Which truth do you want to hear, Daniel?" I watch him closely for a reaction, but his face remains impassive. "Do you want to hear my truth or yours, because I have a feeling that they are going to be vastly different."

He stares at me contemplating my words, his blue eyes soft in the diffused lighting of the room. He is more relaxed now, the earlier angry outburst dissipated and probably already forgotten. He is thinking, working out a strategy for this conversation, like a chess master he is most likely several moves ahead of me, having already factored in my more probable arguments.

It is his unlimited knowledge of words and languages that makes him such a brilliant negotiator.

Those same assets are also the very things that make him so damn difficult to argue with.

"I want our truth, Sam." Slowly he sits back against the seat cushions, folding his arms across his abdomen in a protective gesture. "Is that too much to ask?"

Our truth! What exactly is that?

"What if there isn't a truth for both of us, Daniel? What if only one of us can be right?"

A small smile tugs at his lips and I know that he has already considered that I would pose that question.

"There are always compromises." His eyes hold mine for a brief moment, then he looks away, down toward the discarded leather jacket. He picks it up and carefully folds it, placing it across the armrest. He glances at the now vacant seat then back at me.

His gesture isn't a normal invitation for me to sit next to him. It is an olive branch, a first tentative step in breaching the deep emotional chasm that has opened up between us during this past week. To decline would further widen the rift between us, possibly irrevocably. In accepting I would prove to him that there is hope that we can salvage our deteriorating relationship.

I cross to the couch in a few short steps and take the proffered seat.

"So, how are we going to do this?"

"To do it properly we have to be completely honest with each other. No lies. No hedging and no hiding. Everything comes out into the open, it's the only way."

I nod in reluctant agreement, wondering as I do so if I can really live up to the expectations that Daniel is asking of me. I'm not very good at this, at opening myself up, at pouring out my feelings. I'm not even sure that this is really going to help matters.

"There is something that I need to know. Something that has been bothering me all week."

"What's that?" The tension in the room changes, becoming heavier, more cloying as we finally prepare to embark upon this much needed conversation.

"Was our being together that night really a big mistake?"

Damn.

I was hoping that he would ease us gently into this. I guess I should have known better. I should have known that Daniel would go right to the heart of the matter.

No lying.

No hedging.

No hiding.

I recall his words from moments earlier, their meaning starkly clear. If we are going to do this we have to do it right. It's got to be all or nothing. We have to meet each other half way and in order to do that we have to be one hundred percent truthful with one another.

"I've been asking myself that question all week."

"Do you have an answer?"

"Not a very good one."

"Care to share?"

I take a moment to formulate my thoughts, arranging them into some coherent order that I can understand, let alone Daniel.

"I think it's truthful to say that my feelings on this subject are still conflicted. I honestly don't think that it is a simple yes or no answer. What happened between us that night has had so many ramifications, including the fact that it has seriously jeopardised our friendship."

Daniel nods his head in tacit agreement.

"At the forefront of my thoughts has been that friendship. I treasure it. It means so much to me and it defies quantification. What we have is more than the normal everyday connection between two people that are friends. It goes deeper than that, a whole lot deeper. Sometimes I feel that you are the only person that I can turn to, the only one who can truly understand me."

"I feel the same way too."

There is a sadness in his eyes and I know that he has missed that connection between us, probably as much as I have. The irony of the situation isn't lost on me. If things had been different, if the events of the past week had taken place between Daniel and some other woman, he would have come to me for advice on what to do and vice versa.

"I know now that avoiding you was the worst thing I could have done. It served to deepen the divide between us and it's probably lead to a lot of unnecessary anguish on your part." Daniel looks quizzically at me, his eyebrows raising toward his hairline. "My avoidance of you wasn't for the reasons you may think."

"Then why did you avoid me?"

I contemplate whether to tell him the whole truth or make it a little ambiguous, after all I know how he will read my reply. Then I remember the promise that we had made to each other at the onset of this conversation and I realise that ambiguity is out of the question.

"Because I knew that if I saw you again, if we worked closely together, I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off you."

His look of startled surprise is almost comical. Both eyebrows have simultaneously gone into orbit and his blue eyes are so wide that I wonder why they are not sticking out on stalks like they do in the cartoon movies.

"Wait…does that…so does that mean…" He stumbles over his words. "Does that mean that you don't think what we did was a mistake? Is that your answer?"

Oh God.

I knew before I said the words that he would make that jump. That he would leap toward the hope that there could be something more between us. It's so like Daniel not to err on the side of caution.

"I didn't say that."

"But you said that you want us to be together."

"I didn't say that either. That's how you interpreted it."

"Then how should I interpret it, Sam?" There is a hint of annoyance in his voice. "Explain it to me because I'm obviously being dense."

"Just because I intimated that I'm still attracted to you, doesn't mean that anything is going to come of it."

A deeply wounded look sweeps across his face and the glimmer of hope that I had seen in his eyes is extinguished by my words. Seeing the disillusionment settle into place makes my heart clench in painful sympathy.

"So being together that night was a mistake."

Why does it have to keep coming back to that same damn question.

"If you're asking me if making love with you was a mistake then no, Daniel, it wasn't a mistake, but if you're asking me whether jeopardising our friendship and breaking the rules was a mistake, then the answer has to be yes and that's why it can't happen again."

"So…the problem then is that we broke the rules."

"No. The problem is that we made love."

Daniel's eyes widen in confusion.

"But you just said that you didn't have a problem with that." His sense of bewilderment is now evident in the tone of his voice.

"Personally I don't."

"Then how the hell…" He slaps an open palm against his jean clad thigh, the sound loud in the quiet room, his exasperation clear."How the hell am I suppose to understand that? What is it, Sam? Did we make a mistake or didn't we?"

Damn he is like a dog with a bone, he just doesn't know when to leave it alone. He's not going to budge from this stubborn position until I've spelled it out to him, letter by excruciating letter.

"Don't you see, Daniel, they are interlinked." I run a weary hand across tired eyes, my exhausted brain trying to figure out a way to make him understand . "In order to have one, you have to break the other."

"And that's wrong because…?"

I let out a soft sigh. He is missing the point entirely, for someone with such insight, he can be so infuriatingly blinkered at times.

"Taken individually, the only mistake we made was in breaking the rules. Rules that were never meant to be broken, that are there for a very good reason. But if you look at it collectively," I look at him pointedly, "then the mistake we made was in instigating the act that caused us to break the rules in the first place…namely our making love."

There in a nutshell, surely he can't have a problem interpreting that.

Only the soft ticking of the wall clock in my hallway breaks the silence that has now descended upon the room. I watch Daniel as he mulls over my words, as he takes apart every syllable of what I have said in an effort to prepare his counter argument.

I have no doubt that there will be one.

"So, that morning in my apartment…what you said before you left…it was…" He stops unable to finish.

"The truth."

He nods solemnly, his gaze now centred on my floor.

"I didn't lie to you that day. I told you the truth, a complicated truth, but a truth nonetheless."

"And you're saying that it can't happen again, no matter how much we might want it to?" His head lifts up, his eyes now challenging me, pushing me, testing the strength of the regulations that bind me to the military, that bind us to the Stargate programme itself. I look away, unable to meet his gaze, unwilling to give him an answer. I feel his fingers cup my chin and gently turn me back to face him. "No matter how much you might want it to?"

I think back to those precious moments, of lying in his arms, of our bodies tightly entwined, of our lips softly moving against each other, knowing that those memories may have to suffice for a long time.

"It can't happen again, Daniel," I look up into his eyes, into the fathomless blue depths of his irises, "no matter how much I might want it to."

We stare at each other for a long, long time and for the briefest of moments it feels as though he might kiss me. To my astonishment I realise that my heart wants him to kiss me, to slant his mouth over mine and kiss all the absurd regulations out of my head. It wants him to lead me to my bedroom and thoroughly re-enact that night in his bed.

However, my mind is screaming at me to break the moment, to back off, to push away from him so that we don't do something stupid again. Breaking the rules the first time was a genuine mistake, to break them a second time would be a deliberate act on our part and the consequences would be huge, so huge that I doubt that there would be any chance of us ever returning to the way it was before, the way it should remain.

I'm starting to feel very schizophrenic.

It is Daniel that breaks the eye contact, pushing away from me as he moves to sit further back into the seat, his head dropping into his hands, frustrated fingers raking through his short hair.

"This sucks!" He exhales a long, deep breath before tugging off his glasses. "At least I now know that it wasn't me that you were running from. That it wasn't because I didn't live up to your expectations as a lover."

Is that what he thought?

Thinking back on the panicked events of that morning I guess I could understand how he might have arrived at that notion. I didn't exactly do much for his ego, leaving as abruptly as I did. His feelings of inadequacy must have been following him around all week as I made matters worse by deliberately avoiding him.

No wonder he turned up on my doorstep tonight.

"Since that night…how often have you…" He fumbles his words as an unaccustomed nervousness descends upon him. "You know…how often have you thought about us…in that way?"

"Every. Single. Day." I reach across the short distance between us and take a hold of his hand, squeezing it gently between my fingers. It's the only form of intimacy that I can afford to give him.

"If there was a way that we could be together, if we could stay on SG-1 and not break the rules…would you want to…"

"In a heartbeat." A soft smile creases the corners of my mouth and I realise that this is the first time in a week that I have actually smiled at him.

He returns my smile, a broad grin spreading across his face, the relief shining brightly in his eyes. Then as quickly as it had appeared it dissolves, replaced by reality's heavy frown.

"Are you sure that this is what you really want?" The hand that I am holding twists so that he can entwine his fingers with mine. "Can you just walk away from this?"

"It's not a question of walking away from it. What we do every day is dangerous, every time we step through the Stargate we are risking our lives, not just ours, Daniel, but everyone else on the team. We can't afford any distractions, not now, not with the Ori getting more powerful every day." I place my free hand over our entwined ones. "It's not what I want, Daniel, but it's what has to happen."

Duty.

Honour.

Loyalty.

What have those words ever really gotten me? Yes, it has enabled me to steadily move up the career ladder and it has presented me with the most wonderful job in the world, but it has also lead to a lonely life and an even lonelier bed. Yet, like my father, I have always put them before anything else. Is it truly a good thing to constantly put the welfare and wellbeing of those you serve with, above that of your own heart?

What of the friend that sits beside me now, a man that could become so much more to me if I just let him. What about his feelings?

"Are you going to be alright with this, Daniel? Are you going to be alright with us going back to just being friends?"

He shifts his position, so that he is facing me again, so that he can look me directly in the eye.

"Up until a little while ago I thought I had lost you completely." He tucks a stray lock of hair behind my ear. "I feared that our friendship had been destroyed by what had happened that night. To find it still intact is a blessing, but as long as we're being honest with each other, I know what I would have preferred."

He drapes an arm around my shoulder and pulls me against him, until my head rests softly against his shoulder. "We'll get through this, Sam, it'll be hard, but we'll get through this." He places a soft kiss on my head. "It's gonna take me a while, you might find me looking at you in an untoward manner from time to time, but I'll get over it…eventually."

The sadness and disappointment in his voice causes a lump to form in my throat. I'm asking him to make such a big sacrifice. He deserves better than that, he deserves better than me, especially if I am refusing to give him that which he deserves the most.

A second chance at love.

I have to let him know that. I have to let him off the hook so that he can go and find someone else, someone more deserving than me.

"Daniel?"

"You look tired, it's been a tough week, for both of us." He gently removes his arm from around my shoulder and pushes to his feet, picking up his leather jacket from the armrest and shrugging it on. "I should let you get some sleep." He pats at his pockets, searching for his keys. They jingle on their keychain as he pulls them out and cups them in his hand.

He heads toward the hallway and I trail slowly in his wake, the stresses and strains of the week finally manifesting themselves into outright exhaustion. He pauses once more in front of the photograph on the wall.

"I really like this picture. Do you have more of them?"

"Albums and albums of them, Daniel. Dad was a real hoarder."

"I'd like to see them sometime."

"I pull them out next time you're over, but I'll warn you, they are likely to bore you to death."

As we reach the front door I am having to stifle a series of yawns behind my hand.

"You go straight to bed when I've gone. No sitting up analysing what happened tonight, okay?" Daniel sounds like an old mother hen and it sounds good to my ears. It's one of the things I have missed this week, his good natured concern for me.

"I Promise."

He pulls me into a tight hug, squeezing me against the length of his body. As he steps back, he drops a soft kiss on my forehead. "See you on Monday."

As he pulls open the front door, a gust of cold air blows into the hallway causing me to shiver. The bathrobe that I have been wearing all night now seems totally inadequate as I pull it tighter against me.

"Good night, Sam."

"Drive safely."

I close the door behind his retreating back and lean heavily against it, letting the last of the tension leave my body. In a way it was good that he came over tonight. It allowed us to clear the air, to mend fences and more importantly it allowed us to finally tell each other how we feel, even if there is now little chance that we will do anything more about it.

A soft knock breaks me from my thoughts.

"Sam, are you still there?"

I smile and shake my head wondering what it is that he has forgotten. I ease the door open to find him standing on my stoop.

"What is it, Daniel?"

"There is something I have to say to you."

"What's that?"

"Screw the regulations!"

He pulls me hard against him, his mouth slanting hungrily over mine. With a couple of steps forward he crosses us back into my house, slamming the door behind him in his wake. A moment later I am pushed against the wall, his tall six foot frame pressed hard against my body, his mouth kissing the life out of me.

What's more…I'm kissing him back.

So much for all those regulations. Instead of putting up a stoic fight I've turned into a human variation of Pavlov's dog. Daniel rings the bell and I salivate.

His lips continue their frantic plunder. Our tongues duelling for supremacy of the kiss and I capitulate when I feel his hands at my hips, lifting me up, pushing me further against the wall. My legs wrap snugly around his waist and he rocks softly against me. A shoulder knocks a mounted picture askew, popping it off of its picture hook and sending it thudding to the floor with a faint tinkle of broken glass. Vaguely I hope it isn't the one that he liked so much.

At some stage in the proceedings my bathrobe has fallen open and Daniel's hand has found its way inside, his fingers grazing along the underside of a breast. My throaty moan is swallowed by his mouth.

Long minutes pass before Daniel pulls his mouth away from mine and we can both take in some much needed oxygen. My head is swimming, small black dots appear before my eyes and my pulse is pounding erratically at my temples.

"That's your counter argument!?" I am panting heavily, sucking in precious air between words. "Screw the regulations!"

"Yep." His lips curl up in a smug smile.

"I should have known there would be one." My eyes flutter closed as his thumb brushes deftly across a nipple. "It's not like you to leave without putting up some kind of an argument. Can't say that I expected you to use your mouth in quite this way though."

"You complaining?"

"No."

"I want to be with you." He kisses me softly on the lips. "From your reaction you obviously want to be with me too, no matter what that head of yours is telling you." He lazily trails his tongue across my collarbone and the back of my head thumps softly against the wall as I arch my body further toward his touch. "I'm not gonna let some old, musty regulations stand in our way. I'll transfer out of the team if I have to, but we're doing this."

His lips return to mine, as heated and passionate as they were on that first night. It feels so good, so right doing this with him, like the last two pieces in a jigsaw puzzle fitting together to make a whole.

I concur. Screw those regulations!

I want this. I need this. We damn well deserve this.

The fatigue that I was feeling earlier has vanished, replaced by something more visceral. A need more demanding than I have ever known.

With gentle hands, Daniel disengages my legs from around his waist and lowers my body until my feet touch the floor.

Backing away, he turns and heads for the door.

"Wait! Your leaving!"

Unhurriedly he turns back to face me, his eyes glimmering with a mixture of desire and amusement, a soft smile spreading across his lips.

"I'll see you on Monday."

He turns away and heads down the hallway, tugging open the door and stepping through it into the night, softly it closes behind him. A few moments later I hear the sound of his Jeep starting up and listen to the sound of the engine as it gradually fades away into the distance.

My lips tingle from his kisses, my body thrumming with the arousal that he had so easily stoked and reawakened within me. I know that sleep will be a long time coming tonight.

He'll see me on Monday!

A week ago I had left Daniel alone and hurt in his apartment after spending one of the most incredible nights of my life with him. Tonight he has turned the tables on me, leaving me standing in my house alone and highly aroused wondering what the hell is going to happen next.

I realise payback can be a bitch!


	4. Chapter 4

**Aftermath**

**Chapter 4**

Daniel has been as good as his word and I haven't seen or heard from him all weekend. Some might say that his actions were an act of vindictiveness, that he had wanted to play the same dirty trick on me that I had sprung on him a week earlier, but they don't know Daniel as well as I do.

There isn't a vindictive bone in his body.

However, his absence had been a calculated one, calculated to make me think. It has resulted in the desired effect because I spent most of the weekend deep in thought and for once it wasn't about the night we had spent together and how good it had been.

Instead my thoughts had turned inward, introspective and I had spent most of my time going over every inch of what had happened that evening.

Of course my first initial reaction had been one of anger.

Anger at him for the way in which he had shredded my carefully crafted argument as though it were nothing more than a flimsy piece of tissue paper and anger at myself for letting it happen so damn easily.

What had happened to my resolve?

What had happened to the determination that had kept me so steadfastly away from him for an entire week?

How could he have bypassed my defences with nothing more than a heated kiss and the assuredness of his hands upon my body?

Was I really that weak?

Hot on the heels of my anger came realisation.

Realisation that I had been wrong in my assumption that Daniel had come to my house to talk. Oh, he had said those words, but he had come that night to hear me talk, to listen to my argument and to take it apart piece by piece until he had found the ammunition that he had been looking for.

As always with the benefit of twenty-twenty hindsight, I realised that I had given him that ammunition in spades.

For it had become blatantly obvious to me that I had been telegraphing my own mixed feelings all night. My perfectly good reasons for our abstaining from continuing what had happened in his apartment had been blown completely out of the water with my confession that I didn't regret the fact that we had made love. I'd even admitted that there was even a part of me that had wanted it to happen again.

I had given him the opening that he had been looking for and that is why he had done what he had done in my hallway. Why he had let me believe that everything between us had been settled and that our relationship had a chance of going back to the way it had been. He had bided his time, waiting for my guard to lower and then he had struck.

It was to my detriment that Daniel knows me so well because he decided to bypass my brain, knowing that I can analyse anything to death if given half the chance. Instead, he went to the one place that he would always be granted an audience, he had gone for my heart.

Daniel's actions had spoken to me on a level that only that chained inner voice within my heart could hear. His kisses and touches had broken it free from its bondage, allowing that part of me to rise from its dank, dark prison, to claim what it wanted so much.

For all my denial, one thing remains abundantly clear.

I want Daniel as much as he wants me.

Regulations be damned.

So it was with this overwhelming insight that I made my way to Cheyenne Mountain this morning, trepidation running through my veins like thick treacle, because I honestly didn't know for sure just how Daniel would react once I saw him again.

It was therefore an unexpected, but pleasant, surprise to walk into my lab and find him sitting at my workstation, going over the technical schematics for the piece of alien technology that had been brought back from our previous mission. He turned toward me, a soft smile tugging at his lips before launching into a long monologue about the alien writings on the blueprints.

Suddenly everything seemed to snick back into place, the easy going banter, the brainstorming of ideas, his gentle teasing as I tried and dismally failed to comprehend the complex alien language. It was as if our lives had suddenly rewound themselves to the moment before our relationship had irrevocably changed, as though we were giving ourselves a second chance, forever banishing the miserable week that we had spent avoiding each other.

Hurting each other.

Most of the morning was spent painstakingly going over the blueprints. Daniel would translate a passage from the schematic while I would try to weave the information into some sort of plan that would enable us to back engineer the alien technology. It was frustratingly laborious work, scattered with plenty of dead ends and blind alleyways, but we both knew that the final result would be worth it.

It felt so good to reconnect again on a professional level. Only Daniel knows the workings of my mind as well as I do and only he can keep up with my leaps in logic. He is someone who understands me and we both work in a similar fashion. I had deeply missed that connection and a part of me had been afraid that it had gone forever.

It was good to know that our relationship appeared to be healing.

Nevertheless, I couldn't help but be confused though.

Throughout our morning together Daniel had been the epitome of professional decorum, never once mentioning our encounter just a few days earlier. From time to time I would feel his gaze upon me, burning hot against my skin, but whenever I looked at him, he would just smile softly and ask another pertinent question about the complexities of the alien technology that I was hoping to duplicate.

It left me feeling slightly off balance, as though I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. I also couldn't stop myself from wondering if over the weekend he had had cause to change his mind.

"Sam." Daniel's soft voice broke through my thoughts and I looked away from my computer model toward him. "I have to go. I have an appointment with one of my linguistics team. He wants to go over the artefacts found on P7X 959."

"Oh." I heard the note of disappointment in my voice, I'm sure that Daniel must have heard it to. Truth was I didn't want him to leave. I was enjoying his company, enjoying having him close again. It seemed a shame to break that connection so soon. I looked back at my computer screen, at the simulation that I had been working on. "I think I have enough to go on for now." I looked back at him, hoping he couldn't detect my reluctance to see him go in my eyes. "Thanks for your help, Daniel."

"If you have any problems," he flashed that soft smile at me again, "I'm only a phone call away."

I felt myself smiling back at him, the tensions of the past week forgotten.

Or so I thought.

As he turned away from the workbench, I felt his fingers travel slowly down my clothed arm, their pressure light upon the fabric. Although his touch was soft and in no way meant to be intimate, I still had to stifle the gasp that threatened to escape my lips.

He stopped at my wrist, gently turning my hand over so that it was palm side up. He pressed something into it, using his fingers to wrap my own snugly around it. He kept them there for a moment longer, his light blue eyes locking with mine, a challenge in their gaze. Then pulling away, he turned his back to me and casually exited my lab, the sound of his measured steps fading along the corridor.

I stared at my fisted hand, wondering at the sudden turn of events. Then slowly I opened my fingers, seeing for the first time the small piece of folded paper nestling against my palm.

My heart skipped a beat.

I felt like a high school kid being slipped a secret note. I even took a tentative glance toward the entrance to my lab, making sure that nobody was about to enter. Turning my back against the ever present CCTV camera perched high up on the wall, I slowly opened the note and read the message in Daniel's scrawled handwriting.

'_I meant every word that I said in your hallway._

_I want you. _

_I want you in my life. In my arms. In my bed. _

_We can keep the personal and the professional separate. _

_We just have. _

_Believe in us._'

I read the message over and over again, taking in every nuance, every swirl of Daniel's pen across the stark whiteness of the paper.

He still wants me.

He had used his professionalism this morning to prove a point, that we could compartmentalize our lives. That we could keep apart that which is personal from our working relationship. There was no need for any awkwardness between us. At work we could continue being Colonel Carter and Doctor Jackson.

But outside of work we could become something else.

We could become Sam and Daniel.

Lovers.

A frisson of heat shot through my body at that thought.

As though reading my thoughts, my cell phone took that moment to jingle into life. I didn't need to look at the caller ID to know who the caller would be. I flipped it open and placed it against my ear.

"Hi Daniel."

"Have dinner with me."

Was he actually asking me out on a date?

"We need to talk, Sam. I need to tell you how I feel."

"I thought you already had." I glanced down at the note in my hand, my eyes sweeping across the words. "I thought you had told me all I need to know."

"There's more to how I feel than just the note." He sighed softly. "Look, I just want to talk to you someplace where it won't be easy to give into temptation."

He doesn't trust himself around me. Well after the incident in my hallway that doesn't surprise me.

"Do I tempt you, Daniel?" I couldn't help the seductive, teasing cadence in my voice and was thankful that the lab doesn't have an audio feed.

"You tempt me all the time." His husky tones sent a shiver down my spine, "In fact you should be designated a cardinal sin."

Thoughts of other cardinal sins that we could be doing together run unfettered through my mind, raising my blood pressure and heart rate. I'm having a tough time trying to refocus my attention on the conversation.

"I'm not the only one that has the capacity to lead us into temptation, Daniel?"

"I'm glad to hear it." There is a smile in the sound of his voice and I know that he is pleased that he appears to have the same effect on me that I seem to have on him. "So, will you go out with me tonight?"

I contemplate his words and all their hidden manifestations. If I do this, if I agree to go out on a date with him, then I will be tentatively agreeing to there being a chance that we can have something more between us.

Once again my mind and my heart are in conflict. The military officer and the woman on opposite sides of the same argument. So much could go wrong if I agree to this, maybe not tonight, but sometime in the future, and I could live to regret it.

"Sam…you still there?" There is a slight trace of concern in his words.

"I'm still here."

"I know this choice is a difficult one for you, but do you think you could do me a small favour?"

"What's that?" I wait anxiously for his reply.

"Do you think that for one night…just one night…you could tell that infuriating voice in your head to go to hell."

God, he knows me too well.

"Consider it done." I smile to myself as I hear the words leave my mouth, realising that once again my heart has pulled rank. It's getting quite good at doing that.

"Can I take that as a yes?"

"It's a yes, Daniel. What time do you want to pick me up?"

"How does around seven thirty sound?" There is a definite note of relief in his voice.

"Okay, I'll see you then."

There is a long silence between us, as though neither one of us wants to end the conversation. To break the moment.

"I better go," Daniel finally breaks the silence, "I've still got that appointment to attend."

"See you tonight, Daniel."

He disconnects the call and I stand looking at my cell phone for a few seconds, the dial tone the only sound in my lab. After several moments I switch it off and stow it away inside my BDU's.

I try to get my attention back to the job at hand, but no matter how hard I try to concentrate on the simulation on my computer, my mind keeps wandering back to what might happen tonight.

After another thirty minutes of fruitlessly trying to engage my brain to where it should be, I bow to the inevitable and give up trying. Instead I log off my workstation, grab a jacket and head out of the base.

I have a date to prepare for.


	5. Chapter 5

**Aftermath**

**Chapter 5:**

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Isn't that how it's supposed to be?

So how is it that I feel that the changes taking place in my life right now are cataclysmic in nature? Like I'm standing upon a dormant volcano that is about to become violently active at any given moment?

Why is it that I seem unable, or more accurately, unwilling to run for safety, but compelled instead to walk to the edge of the abyss and stare it squarely in the eye, waiting for the moment of eruption to engulf me?

The logical part of my mind thinks that I have gone insane, that I have finally lost all sense of reason. That maybe I have stepped one too many times through the Stargate and my resultant irrational behaviour is caused by irreversible brain damage. That part of my brain yells at me to go see Dr Lam and demand a thorough brain scan.

However, there is another part of me, a part rarely allowed to express itself, the part of me that speaks not on behalf of the military officer and scientist, but for Samantha Carter the woman. It is the part of me that resides deep within my heart, and it has spent most of its adult life tucked neatly away, its voice unheard and neglected.

Its tired of being ignored, tired of being nothing more than a mere addendum, nonchalantly attached to all the decisions I have made in my life. At this particular moment in time it wants to be the driving force in my decision making, it's seductive cadence whispering words of hope within my ear and I find myself listening to this inner voice more than any other.

It's the voice of what might be. Of what I could have if I give myself half the chance to seize it.

Why else would I be sitting in Daniel's car, dressed in a low cut cocktail dress, about to risk my career, my professional credibility and every ounce of respect that I have earned in over fifteen years in the Air Force to embark upon a clandestine date with my best friend and work colleague?

I feel Daniel's eyes sweep across me as we wait at a red light, their scorching intensity causing the temperature in the car to increase by a couple of degrees. It's not the first time tonight that I have felt the weight of that stare and judging by the way that he is gripping the steering wheel, he's having a tougher time trying to stop himself from touching me.

I guess he meant that remark about temptation.

I also guess my choice of dress this evening was a good one, even if my bank balance is lamenting the loss of a considerable chunk of my savings.

The smouldering look that he gave me when he came to pick me up has been forever imprinted upon my brain. When I get a chance, I'm going to rewind it so that I can replay it again and again. I don't think I have ever seen Daniel look at me the way he did tonight. I don't think that I have ever seen that level of hunger and desire in the eyes of any man that I have ever been with.

I didn't think that we were going to make it out of the house, let alone make it to the car and the restaurant. Even now I half expect him to turn the car around or pull over and ravage me where I sit.

His reaction, and the fact that I am the cause of it, is making me feel like some kind of vixen, wanton and sexy.

It also scares the hell out of me, because I'm not sure what I may have unleashed within us tonight?

The car slows as we finally reach our destination and Daniel pulls into the car park of the upmarket restaurant that he has booked for us. It's my turn to be stunned when I realise where we are. It's the most expensive restaurant in Colorado Springs, only those people on a high salary or who have really good business accounts can afford to eat here.

"How on earth did you get reservations for this place?"

A broad grin lights up Daniel's face and he taps the side of his nose conspiratorially.

"Sometimes it's good to have friends in high places." He opens the door and alights the vehicle, leaving me to ponder his cryptic statement. Before I realise it, my car door opens and Daniel extends a hand toward me. "Madam, would you care to join me in a little early evening dining?"

I take a hold of his proffered hand and exit the car, more conscious than ever at the shortness of the dress I'm wearing. A moment of panic ensues as I realise that I might not be adhering to the correct dress code for this kind of establishment.

"Stop it!" The chastisement in his voice is softened by its gentle tone. "I know what you're doing, Sam."

"What?"

"You're thinking that you're not good enough for this place." He releases my hand while he closes the car door, locking it with a quick press of his keychain. He pockets the keys in his suit jacket. He turns me to face him, his hands coming up to rest lightly upon my bare shoulders, "Tonight you are going to outshine anything that this place has to offer."

"I hardly think so."

"You know that is one of the things that I love so much about you." The corners of his lips rise in a soft smile. "You're inability to see the inherent beauty that you possess."

"Well right now I'd prefer to possess a few more inches on the hemline of my dress."

"It's perfect." He runs his eyes over me appreciatively, cupping my chin in the palm of his hand and brushing his thumb gently across my bottom lip. "You're perfect."

He drops his hand from my chin and closes his fingers instead around my hand, tugging me gently in the direction of the restaurant.

"Besides, you haven't seen our table yet." He looks across at me, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "I didn't say that we'd be eating **in **the restaurant, did I? It's more like in the kitchen…at the back…by the dustcarts."

I nudge him playfully in the ribs as we walk unchallenged through the lobby of the restaurant.

A few minutes later we are being seated at our discreet table by the window and believe me the kitchen and its dustcarts are nowhere in sight. Instead, we have a view through the window of the lake, its perimeter festooned with white fairy lights. The soft restrains of a piano drift across the room, its sound muted so as not to encroach upon the diners conversation. The whole atmosphere is beautifully classy without being over the top and I realise that it's going to cost Daniel a fortune for us to dine here.

"Daniel, this is way…way more than I expected."

"What were you expecting…O'Malley's?"

"Not quite," I look away from him and take in the full extent of the surroundings, "but I certainly wasn't expecting this." I turn back toward him, my hands reaching across the table to gently take hold of his.

The waiter suddenly appears at our table and we reluctantly pull our hands away from each other. He hands us each a menu and gives the wine list to Daniel to peruse before discreetly making his exit.

My quick scan of the menu shows me that none of the dishes come with a price tag. I guess in places like this, it's true what they say…if you need to ask the price…you can't afford it.

"So, are you hungry?" Daniel looks at me from over the top of his menu.

"Famished." As I look down the long list, my eyes narrow slightly. "You know, Daniel, it's a good job I'm here with a linguist because I can't make head nor tails of this menu."

He chuckles softly and for the next few minutes he patiently translates the items on the menu for me.

"After that nasty incident on PX5 978 I think I can safely say that I'm gonna pass on the seafood tonight."

Daniel crooks his index finger at me and I lean in toward him.

"I don't think that interplanetary crustaceans count toward a seafood allergy, Sam, beside those things were just plain evil."

"Still, best to be on the safe side."

As though he were a genie uncorked from a bottle, the waiter once again appears stealthily at our side. We glance at each other with equally amused smiles before we place our orders, both of us opting to forgo a starter in favour of having a main course and dessert. I can't be certain, but I'm pretty sure that the bottle of red wine that Daniel orders probably costs as much as the expensive suit he is wearing.

"Do you think they train them to do that?" Daniel jerks his head in the direction of our retreating waiter. "It's like he's ex special forces or something…" He takes a short sip of his water. "Guess there is a job for Jack's Black Ops talents when he finally decides to retire."

I giggle at his remark, an image of the General as one of the waiters coming unbidden to my mind. When Daniel asks why I'm chuckling I tell him and for the next ten minutes we embark in a game of one-upmanship, each trying to come up with the funniest manifestation of Jack O'Neill upmarket waiter.

The food arrives and Daniel breaks off of our conversation to test the wine before the waiter dutifully fills our glasses.

The food looks great and thankfully it isn't nouveau cuisine, so my hunger should be satisfied. We eat slowly, savouring the fantastic tastes of our food, along with the wine that compliments it perfectly. It only takes a couple of glasses of the rich red wine before I'm enjoying a nice buzz.

"Guess as I'm the designated driver tonight, it's down to you to finish the bottle, Sam." Daniel is nursing his one glass of wine as though it were a precious artefact.

"We could always get a cab home and come back for the car in the morning." I suddenly realise how that sounded and wonder if the wine has given me more of a buzz than I intended. "Ah… what I meant was…"

"It's okay," Daniel smiles softly, "I know what you meant." His free hand comes to rest across mine, "I think it's a good idea though, so why don't you top me up." He steers his glass toward me and I do as he asks, noticing as I pour the wine that my hand is trembling slightly.

The ninja waiter materialises out of nowhere and wordlessly removes our empty plates from the table and replaces them with the dessert menu.

"Want me to translate it for you?" Daniel teases softly.

"As long as it contains chocolate I don't care what it is."

"Women!" Daniel rolls his eyes in mock indignation.

The strains from the piano has risen slightly, enough to make us look away from each other toward its direction. People are beginning to mill around the small dance floor adjacent to it. A few couples are already swaying softly to the music.

"Care to dance?" Daniel stands, reaching his hand across the table toward me. "It will give us a chance of letting the food go down before we order dessert."

I rise from my chair a little hesitantly. I haven't properly danced with a man in years, not if you don't count family gatherings or military functions. I'm a little rusty and also a little bit worried that I might step on Daniel's toes. I take his hand and we proceed to walk toward the dance floor. It's getting crowded now, most of the customers having the same idea as us.

Daniel stops by the pianist and whispers something to him, and he nods in understanding. Before I can ask what the conversation was about, Daniel steers me onto the dance floor, threading us through the throng of people now gathered there until we find a spot that we can call our own. He pulls me gently toward him, his left hand softly clasping my right against his chest as his other arm snakes around my waist.

The first few notes of the new song begin to emanate from the piano and we begin to move in time with the music, shuffling our feet and turning in a slow circle as we move around the dance floor. It feels so good being in his arms like this, feeling the length of his body pressed so closely against mine. I can smell his cologne, feel his heart beating softly against the hand that rests against his chest. It's intimate without being sexual and I can't help the small sigh that breaks from my lips as my eyes slide shut. Tentatively we begin to sway in time with the melody.

It takes me a few seconds to recognise the piece of music that is being played and my realisation comes at exactly the same moment as I hear the words being softly sung.

'_Some day, when I'm awfully low,_

_When the world is cold,_

_I will feel a glow just thinking of you…_

_And the way you look tonight._

_You're lovely, with your smile so warm,_

_And your cheeks so soft,_

_There is nothing for me but to love you,_

_And the way you look tonight._

My eyes blink open at the sound of Daniel's soft voice and I can't help but stare at him. He is looking at me with the same level of intensity and desire that I had witnessed earlier this evening. The sheer heat of his gaze threatens to steal my breath away and ignites the feelings of longing that I have been struggling with since that night in his apartment.

_With each word your tenderness grows,_

_Tearing my fears apart…,_

_And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,_

_It touches my foolish heart._

_Lovely…Never, ever change._

_Keep that breathless charm._

_Won't you please arrange it?_

'_Cause I love you…Just the way you look tonight.'_

Daniel's voice trails away, but his eyes continue to lock onto mine as surely as if they were a couple of heat seeking missiles. I can't look away, caught as I am within his all encompassing gaze.

"I know this isn't easy for you, Sam. I know you're struggling, trying to juggle the needs of your professional life with those of your personal one, but I meant everything that I've said to you." His left hand leaves mine and he softly brushes his fingers through my hair in the most tender of gestures. "You know that I want you, but perhaps you don't realise how much I need you." He tucks a stray strand of hair behind my ear. "I realised that being with you…even for that one night…gave me a sense of completion. A sense of wholeness that I had been lacking for too many years. Maybe I'm being selfish, but I can't go back to the way it was before."

"I don't know what to say." No truer words have ever come from my mouth. I'm feeling completely overwhelmed by the whole situation. My head is reeling, my body flushed and hot with a need, a desire for this man that is so strong that I fear it almost as much as I want to embrace it.

"Just tell me what is in your heart, Sam. I want to hear what's in your heart, not what's in your head." His fingers brush against my cheek, tenderly drawing a line down my face toward my lips. " I know what's in your head, you told me the other night and I've been there and had the same conversation." His index finger brushes ever so softly against my lips. "I chose to listen to my heart. To act upon it." His deep blue eyes gaze longingly into mine, showing me everything that he feels for me. Showing me the love that resides in his heart, the real honest to goodness love that he has for me. "Choose to act upon what is in your heart, Sam."

As the last few strains of the song dissipate, he bends his head slowly toward mine and brushes a gentle kiss against my lips. The contact is soft but incredible, so forceful that it sends a jolt of electricity coursing through my body. His lips move against mine, their pressure light and undemanding. He pulls away from me as the oblivious couples around us applaud the pianist for his fine rendition of the song.

It has come down to this one moment.

Everything that has happened in this past week is meaningless, all the arguments superfluous. What matters now more than anything is how I respond to this one moment in time. My world has shrunken down to a dance floor within a classy restaurant, my entire future centred upon the man in whose arms I find myself entwined.

It's time for one last battle between my heart and my head.

"I never wanted what happened between us to drive us apart. I know I wasn't fair to you, that I pushed you away and made you believe that I didn't want you." I run shaky fingers across his jaw line, feeling the first vestiges of his stubble against my fingertips. "At the time I thought it was the best thing for both of us. I thought that we couldn't have each other without it impinging upon our professional lives." My nails scrape gently against his jaw and I hear him gasp softly, his eyes sliding shut against the sensation. "I know that was a lie, a lie I was telling myself because I was afraid…afraid of what a relationship could do to us…a part of me still is."

His eyes snap open at my words and I see the flicker of pain and doubt cross them before he conceals it.

"I guess it comes down to this…do I let my fears dictate my actions? Do I let my fears take away something precious and good or do I banish those fears and take what is mine to accept?"

Daniel's goes to say something but I stop him with a finger against his lips.

"I do want you in my life, Daniel." I smile softly up at him as I slip my hands across his shoulders until my fingers are playing with the tiny hairs at the back of his neck. "If that means that I have to go against the regulations to do that, then so be it." I reach up on my toes to break the small height difference between us and place a tender kiss against his lips. I pull away to look into his deep blue eyes, to make sure that he can look into mine because I know that he will see all the truth that he needs to see captured there. " I choose to listen to my heart."

His face breaks into a smile that would have enough energy to power the state of Colorado for year if I could harness it. He pulls me to him, his arms going tightly around my waist and I feel him place a tender kiss onto the crown on my head.

"God, you don't know how much I love you."

"I'm looking forward to finding out." I pull away from him and stare into eyes that now shine with heartfelt relief.

He kisses me tenderly on the lips, his movements slow and deliberate, then he pulls away from me, taking a firm hold of my hand. "I think the dessert in this place is over rated, what say we blow this popsicle stand and go back to your place."

"Can we have dessert there?" I hear the seductive cadence that creeps unabashedly into my voice and watch as Daniel's eyes widen at my double entendre.

"I don't know if I can guarantee that it will be as good as chocolate, Sam." Both his voice and his eyes are resonating with a teasing quality that I am beginning to like very much.

"That's okay, chocolate is only a substitute for something much, much better anyhow."

"Really?" He looks at me with mock scepticism.

"Really."

He tugs at my hand and we steadily weave our way through the milling crowd upon the dance floor, back toward our table. His smile broadens and he calls the waiter over so that he can ask for the check. The waiter returns with it almost immediately, asking us if everything is alright, worried at our early departure.

"Everything is fine," Daniel assures him, looking at me from the corner of his eye. "In fact I would say that everything is perfect."

We pay the bill and make a dignified, but nonetheless hasty retreat toward the lobby. Daniel asks the doorman to hail us a cab and he obligingly trots off to do our bidding.

He pulls me against him, leaning down to kiss me as I go willingly into his arms. His mouth brushes eagerly over mine, his tongue swiping across my bottom lip and I open my mouth to him on a moan. His hands begin to roam my body, igniting my nerve endings and leaving little frissons of pleasure in their wake.

I am amazed at how easily he can do this to me. At how easily he can stoke the fires that nestle deep inside me.

He breaks our kiss, pulling away from me until he can look at me. When his eyes meet with mine they are a darker hue than usual and emanating with seriousness.

"You know where this is heading, right?" He cups my head between his hands, his thumbs rubbing soft patterns across my cheekbones.

"Hopefully to dessert." He gives me a warning look and I realise he really wants to be serious. "I know where this is going, Daniel."

"I'm not going to make love with you if there is any chance that you will run from me again in the morning."

"I'm through with running away." I slip my hands beneath his suit jacket, letting them tenderly caress his back, feeling the heat of his skin through the blue silk shirt that he is wearing.

"I'm gonna hold you to that, Sam."

"You won't have to, Daniel."

He watches me for a brief moment before sliding his hand gently around my neck, guiding my lips to his and sealing them in a heated kiss.

I hear the cab pull up to the kerb, the sound of the doorman opening the door for us and I reluctantly pull away. As we get in, Daniel gives the driver my address before slipping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me protectively against his side.

The cab pulls away from the restaurant and I content myself with snuggling against Daniel, my head resting against his shoulder. I want more, lots more, but I know that I'm going to have to be patient. We are both too old to be necking in the backseat of a cab like a couple of horny teenagers.

I puff out a deep sigh.

Why do I get the feeling that I'm embarking upon one of the longest and most frustrating cab journeys of my life.


	6. Chapter 6

**Aftermath**

**Chapter 6**

I have always loved that moment between sleep and full awakening. That moment when your mind is in both the subconscious and conscious moment, where dreams feel like realities and the harshness of the real world hasn't yet had the time to re-establish itself.

Only the soft twittering of the dawn chorus breaks up the stillness of the room. A shaft of early morning sunlight bathing my face with its welcomed warmth and its promise of another fine spring morning.

My body still feels a little leaden and I haven't yet opened my eyes; for to do so would break the moment that I cherish so much. Instead I succumb to the sunlight's warmth and turn my face further into it, letting its glow penetrate my still sleep fogged mind.

I feel the soft satin of the bed sheets slide against my skin as I slowly stretch my limbs and revel in my nakedness.

The sense of déjà vu that I have been experiencing up to now evaporates as that last thought sweeps across my consciousness.

My eyes slowly open and I take a moment to allow them to adjust to the dim morning sunlight that filters into the room from my half open window blinds. It casts curiously slanting shadows of dark and light across the surfaces of my bedroom and I follow them with my gaze, watching dust motes lazily drift in and out of the amber light.

I unfurl from my foetal position in the bed, feeling the muscles in my lower back elongate as I work them. As I do so, the first stirrings of protest, from other more intimate areas, make themselves known to me, as slowly my body fully awakens from its rested state.

A soft smile breaks across my lips as memories start to slowly drip feed into my mind from the previous nights activities.

The hast in which we disembarked from the cab after its interminable slow drive back to my house from the restaurant.

The gun shot sound of the deadbolt sliding into place as I closed and locked my front door, the sound echoing in the silence of my hallway, as though it were a starters pistol, announcing the beginning of the intimate race that we were about to embark upon.

The heat of Daniel's hands upon my skin as he brushes confident fingers across my bare shoulders, eliciting a trail of goose bumps in their wake. The firmness with which those same hands pull my eager and willing body against his, twisting us until my back is up against the hallway wall, pressing himself against me.

The soft whisper of fabric sliding against fabric as I push his jacket over his shoulders and down his arms, followed by the muffled thud as the material hits the floor at our feet. The rasping sound that his tie makes against the silk collar of his shirt as I free him from its restraint, the sound of buttons popping softly open, exposing his warm skin to my lips and tongue.

The gentleness with which he lowers the zipper of my dress, the reverence of his touch as he slides the garment down across my torso and over my hips, exposing my underwear to his heated perusal. The surprised widening of his desire filled eyes as he takes in my garter clad lower body.

The feel of his long drawn out groan as I slide my tongue deep inside his mouth, its vibrations emanating outward from his body into mine as though it were some kind of echo location beacon, its resonance settling deep within my core, setting me afire with need.

The brush of his fingers against my stockings as they travel determinedly up and over the exposed flesh of my upper thighs, briefly making contact with the fabric of my garter belt, before his fiery hands sweep over my hips, grasping my waist as he pulls me upward so that my legs can lock firmly around him.

The unexpected sound of my giggling as Daniel tries to navigate his way toward my bedroom, bouncing us off of walls and doorways in his haste, soft curses leaving his lips as he mistakenly identifies my guest room for my boudoir.

The cool feel of satin sheets against my heated skin as he gently lowers us onto my bed, his clothed body caging mine, pressing me further into the mattress with its welcomed weight.

The sound of our lips moving against each other as our kisses become more fervent, our tongues duelling, teasing, tasting. Teeth softly nipping against lips, coaxing the heat of our passion higher, the need within us burning brighter and with more urgency.

The unaccustomed trembling of my fingers as they slip across Daniel's naked torso, the feel of his toned muscles clenching as I run them teasingly across his broad back, following the line of his vertebra, sweeping them across his taut abdomen, coming to rest against the aroused evidence of his desire for me.

The snick as the front catch of my bra is released, the cups swept away, the feel of his hands against those now over sensitized orbs of flesh, his thumbs rubbing against my nipples, teasing them into pleasurable peaks. The feel of his tongue as he brushes it across them, making me squirm beneath him, wanting more of his mouth upon me.

The long drawn out moan of approval that breaks from my lips as I am finally granted my wish.

The bereft feeling that washes over me as Daniel abruptly leaves the sanctity of our bed to hastily shed the rest of his clothing, the feeling of loss burned away and replaced with hot, wanton desire as I gaze unashamedly at the glory of his naked body.

The thrill of excitement that surges through my nerve endings when his assured fingers glide across my still garter clad thighs, unlatching the clasps, shedding the stockings and the last pieces of silky material that act as a final barrier between us.

The wet trail of his lips and tongue as he charts every inch of me, my hands kneading the satiny bed sheets as his mouth closes in and then brushes provocatively against my most intimate of places. The reverberating sound of my keening cries and pleas as his mouth and practised fingers bring me to the brink of completion, only for him to bank the flames of my ardour before stoking them over and over again until I am writhing in pleasurable agony.

The scorching intensity of his gaze, the ocean blue of his irises replaced with dark pools of ebony as his pupils dilate with arousal. The unvoiced question asked within that powerful stare as he finally positions himself to enter me, its meaning clear and unmistakable.

The incredible feeling of his flesh pressing slowly into mine, of our bodies joining once more in that oldest of dances. The sensation of my body opening itself to him, slowly adjusting to his fullness. The slow ebb and flow of our initial thrusts as we begin our combined journey toward ecstasy.

The soft cadence of his voice in my ear as he seductively whispers his entreaties, coaxing me onward, taking me higher, merging us together in body and soul until we are truly one entity.

The inescapable quickening of our pace as thoughts give way to feelings, the coil deep within me starting to tighten in reaction to his body's focused stimulation. The feeling of him tensing above me, his muscles tightening under my fingertips as his body begins to drive mine toward the inevitability of release.

The sound of my laboured panting as the moment of climax rushes toward me, his gasps and moans mingling with my breathlessness. The sound of his name whispered over and over again as though it were a precious mantra emanating from my lips.

The sudden shift in my equilibrium as he changes position, rolling us until I am above him, the cool night air causing the perspiration on my back to prickle against my skin, my nipples to tighten into painful pleasure points, pushing me further toward the pinnacle of my desire.

Inarticulate moans turning into keening cries as his fingers close over my ultra sensitised breasts, kneading them, plucking at those hardened tips with the pads of his fingertips. The heat of his mouth as he encloses it around that point of pleasure, suckling it, swirling around and around it with the tip of his tongue.

The feel of my body as it is pushed to the brink of collapse, as sensation after sensation floods my already incredibly aroused nervous system. The sound of my pleas for Daniel to end the sweet torture that he has perpetrated upon my body merge with my appeals for him not to stop.

The awareness of his meandering fingers as they slowly and tenderly make their way down my body, across my hipbone, slipping through the curls at my apex to press deftly against where we are intimately joined.

The sensation of the overly wound coil inside me finally snapping, its high intensity vibrations rippling through me in convulsive waves, causing my body to spasm rigidly above him as I ride out the storm surge that is flowing through me, threatening to overload my brain and frazzle my synapses.

The faint understanding that my world has suddenly tilted upon its axis again as Daniel rolls me beneath him, his body surging inside me as his hips piston against mine, his release bursting forth in three short, sharp thrusts, my name a soft whisper upon his lips.

The vague awareness of our bodies still intimately entwined as Daniel gently rolls onto his side so as not to crush me, his exhausted muscles giving out. The soft kisses that pepper my face and eyes, my mouth and nose. The tender meaningful smile that graces his lips as he whispers his love for me as we settle down to slumber.

The overwhelming sensation of finally knowing what it feels like to be truly loved.

When I made love with Daniel last night it was without guilt and without fear. I gave myself to him in a way that I had never experienced before, not even with our previous encounter. Last night Daniel stripped me bare, laid me open before him and learned things about me that I wasn't even aware of myself.

I learned a lot about Daniel too.

I was allowed access into his very soul and witnessed the joy that my loving him can bring. I've seen the peace in his eyes as he lay sated and exhausted in my arms, seen the contentment that our union has brought forth. I have experienced the intensity in which he loves me, been the recipient of the passion that fires his heart and have been overwhelmingly accepted as his lover.

I know that I have made the right choice, that my place is by Daniel's side, for as long as he needs me.

I stretch again, feeling the warm satin sheets slide against my skin, wrapping me in their silky cocoon. As I relax into the sensation, I feel the heat of Daniel's body as he spoons up behind me, the warmth of his chest coming into contact with my back, his long legs entangling with mine. His hand slips across my hip and gently smoothes across my abdomen, pulling me further against his naked body.

"Sam, are you okay?"

Once again his voice isn't roughed by sleep and I wonder just how long he has been waiting for me to wake up. The sense of déjà vu that I had experienced earlier reasserts itself and for a brief moment I am catapulted back to another moment, in another bed, but this time my reaction is totally different.

"You know this is becoming a habit, Daniel."

"What is?"

"Waking up naked with you in bed."

I feel him place a kiss on my bare shoulder and his fingers gently caress my abdomen, just like he did on that morning in his apartment. This time I have no intention of pulling away from him and absolutely no reason to run from him.

"If it's habit forming then it's one that I'd like to become addicted to." His fingers rise to brush against the underside of my breast and I gasp softly, pushing myself back into him, hearing him mirror my earlier sharp intake of breath as I brush up against his morning arousal.

"Me too."

He is holding me tightly within his embrace, his arms around my torso and his long legs entwined with mine. I wonder if it is a defence mechanism, whether he may still be worried that I might even now run out on him.

"Daniel?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm not going to run away from you."

"I know."

"Then why are you holding me as though you are frightened of letting me go?" I raise my hand and tenderly caress his bicep, running my fingers softly over the warm skin, trying to instil upon him through touch alone my acceptance of our changed status.

"Because maybe I am."

"Why?"

I feel his lips against the nape of my neck, feel him place a series of soft open mouthed kisses against my skin.

"Because when I let you go I might wake up and find myself all alone again." He pulls me even further against his body as though he is trying desperately to merge us into one being. "I'm so tired of being alone, Sam."

The vulnerability in his voice brings tears to my eyes.

"Give me enough room to turn around and I'll prove to you that I have no intention of going anywhere, Daniel."

Slowly I feel the pressure of his arms and legs around me lessen, feel his arms slip away from me and his legs disentangle themselves from mine. I feel him roll over onto his back, the satin sheets sliding away from me with his movements, exposing my bare skin to the early morning coolness of the room.

I turn to face him, rising slightly so that I can bend my arm enough to rest my chin in my hand, so that I can look directly into those soulful blue eyes. I want him to have no doubt that what I am about to say is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth…

So help me God.

"I love you, Daniel, I think I always have."

His eyes widen slightly with my declaration, tears forming in their corners before he blinks them away.

"If the world were to end right now…at this very moment…I would die knowing that I have become a better person for having known you, for having loved you. You have a way of opening people's eyes, of challenging them, making them see beyond the expected to what is beyond. You touch the lives of everyone that you come into contact with and you're not even aware that you do it." I place my free hand upon his heart, feeling it beating softly beneath my touch.

"Sam I…" I stop the rest of his words with a shake of my head.

"I'm not finished yet." He gives me a quizzical eyebrow and I can't resist the temptation to close the distance between us and kiss him briefly on the lips. "You'll never be alone, Daniel, not in any real sense of the word. There are so many people whose lives have taken a different path because of your influence upon them. There are so many people on this planet and countless others that owe their very existence to that doggedness of yours and I'm proud to say that I'm one of them."

"You're making me sound like a super hero."

"Perhaps that's because to a lot of people you are." He chuckles softly at my remark and shakes his head. "I know that sometimes you believe that you haven't made a difference, but you have and it's a much bigger difference than you could possibly imagine. You'll never be alone, Daniel, because too many people out there hold you within their hearts."

"At the risk of sounding selfish there's only one person's heart right now that I'm interested in and that's yours, Sam."

I shift position on the bed, sliding across the sheets until my body is half draped across his torso, my leg sliding across his thigh, one hand smoothing its way across his stomach. I take his arm and drape it around my shoulders and snuggle further against him.

"I tried to tell you all this once before, but my timing sucked. I tried to tell you when you were too sick to understand. You were dying and I had this sudden epiphany and I was too much of an emotional wreck to properly understand it, let alone explain it to you."

"I guess Kelowna opened a lot of people's eyes." Daniel's arm tightens around me, holding me tightly.

"I loved you then, Daniel, and I love you now. You're not going to be alone anymore because I'm going to be with you every step of the way."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

He rolls me beneath him, his heated body pressing my cooler one against the soft satin of the bed sheets. His lips descend upon mine in a hungry kiss which I reciprocate, sliding my tongue into his mouth as he opens it for my scrutiny. A long moment passes as we continue to explore one another, our heads tilting this way and that as we try to find the perfect fit. Eventually we have to break for air and Daniel rests his forehead against mine.

"I love you so much, Sam."

"Show me."

We make love in the early hours of the new dawn accompanied by the sound of the morning birdsong, the shafts of sunlight streaming through the window blinds encase our bodies within its golden hue as though the heavens themselves were giving us their seal of approval.

As a new day begins so does our journey together.

**The End**

Author's note.

Well that's it folks the end of this here tale. I hope you enjoyed it. I would like to say thank you to everyone that took the time to post a review as it really means a lot to me to know what people think. Reviews really are the only way that a writer can gauge the success of a story.

This was my first WIP and I have mixed feelings about it and whether I'd do it again, but as they say never say never, so I won't, especially as I'm working on another story that could quite easily be posted in chapters.

Until next time.


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